He said he worships the ground I walk on and should never change because I was perfect in the relationship and will go far in life whereas he feels like he has nothing to offer since he is grieving and stuck in a job he doesn’t like. I was dating a woman who really was a great girlfriend, but I was totally not in the right place to be in a relationship. when men don’t feel like they’re “winning” at life or that life is good, they want to shrink away and withdraw from the world.
What I mean by this is that if you take on a certain perspective, you are guaranteed to act needy.
And if you take on a different perspective, you will never act needy.
Moreover, it’s in your best interest to live your life in a way that brings you happiness in your moment-to-moment existence without effort…
and abandon any perspective or pursuit that has you feeling crappy in your moment-to-moment experience in service of some imagined better future.
At the heart of it, it’s the feeling of fear of loss.
When you believe that you could lose something, you’ll instinctively shrink inside and it will take the wind out of your sails.
Men are attracted to women who have the vibe of being OK (not anxious, worried, hostile, upset, etc.).
Men are attracted to women who have the vibe of being enthusiastic (not insecure, pessimistic, negative, etc.).
I told him I would give him space while he figured things out but he said he couldn’t ask me to do that.