‘Men want someone who is fertile but who doesn’t want children just yet,’ she continued.‘So they want women in their late 20s or early 30s.
I realised that since turning 35 three years ago, I hadn’t met anyone I liked romantically, who was also single, straight and interested in me. ’ one married ex-boyfriend wrote on my Facebook page. I joined running clubs, did acting classes and dance classes, went on skiing holidays and singles holidays and badgered my friends to set me up with their friends.
Some attempts were more successful than others: a singles holiday to Greece made me feel like Elizabeth Taylor due to all the men after me, whereas one evening spent dinner dating with seven single women in their 40s and just two men — one of whom walked out after ten minutes — made me want to give up on the idea altogether.
Again, race might play an issue here – last time we found that African-American communities seemed to have a higher percentage of single women, and the splits might be helped along by racial divides (Oakland [female] is more black, while Alameda [male] is more white/Asian). Sunnyvale, San Jose and Mountain View come up about even between single men and single women, while San Mateo is piles upon piles of single men and Fremont looks as blue as a perfect day at the seashore.
It doesn’t line up as much on the east side, though, so take that with a grain of salt. Every time I talk about race, just refer to this incredible map that I didn’t make. I know about the West Coast, so I’m going to need your help with my analysis.
He was 41, adventurous and enjoyed travelling — as do I.
His emails were fun and witty and when we first met for a lunch date we left the pub at 6pm, always a good sign. My friends liked him and I couldn’t believe I’d found someone at last.
‘There are many men out there who are bored with having meaningless affairs and who want to settle down and have children too,’ he says.
‘If a guy is going out with a woman in her late 30s, it is hardly going to be a surprise that she might also want children.’With that in mind, I decided to be honest about my desire for marriage and children — with surprising results.
Whenever I was between boyfriends in the past, I would just enjoy life until another man came along — through work, mutual friends or our eyes meeting across a crowded room.
But when I phoned a dating agency eight months ago, everything had taken on a new sense of urgency. ‘Haven’t you found yourself a husband yet, Bridgey? But don’t look desperate — men hate that.’ I went speed-dating, online-dating, wine-tasting dating, quiz-dating and dinner-dating.
Like I said with the NYC map, Kipling nailed it: East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet.