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Long story short, we never sought therapy for it and I forgave him because I didn’t think he had any kind of addiction – I had never even heard of a sex addict. A year ago, I was visiting the US for 2 weeks and came back and was on the computer when I saw the history of web pages, I saw that he was on a pornography website.
I confronted him again and he swore that he was just looking and he doesn’t do this regularly.
I continued to look at the emails – to see how long he had been doing this and found that it went back to when we first started dating.
I confronted him right away on the phone and he was hysterical and apologized and begged me to stay.
I stupidly believed, as I genuinely thought that this man had the heart of a saint – warm, kind, just a dream, really.
He spoils me in every way and I love him very much. Then earlier this week I was on the computer again and his work email was up. 99.9% was work, but there was 3 email exchanges that he had had with a brief girlfriend back in the states that I opened – he had just written them day before. She had originally contacted him, asking him how he was.
I just found out about my husband’s secret earlier this week.
I am emotionally drained, but I am hoping that by sharing my story, I will feel at least a little better.
He started to bring up history – most shockingly, he told her that HE WAS NOT MARRIED, but he “lived with a girl”.
He also brought up very inappropriate innuendos including their “old bedroom” and “how great it was” – he questioned how she was, what her life is like, etc.
I have never been so close in my life to hitting someone with intentions to create immense bodily harm. I immediately told him that he is to go to treatment and I will set boundaries, and it he does not seek treatment or abide by my boundaries, I will leave an divorce him.